DeMarCaTionVille

The Smartypants Version

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Following last week’s discussion of Old Wives Tales, particularly those dealing with woolly worm weather prognostication, acorn-induced luck and future fatalities as portended by the birds, Ms. Diva has developed a tendency to search for a deeper meaning in all things inconsequential.
On the way home today, she inquired about the number of opossums on the [...]

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Democrat Girl:  (watching the Kids’ Inaugural on Disney Channel and clutching a Time magazine with the Blueberry LipSmacker smears on the cover.)
“Her Nana is Jill Biting? Jill Biting is someone’s real Nana? I have a Nana too!  Ohmigosh! Look. There’s Obama’s big daughter.  She loves the Jonas Brothers!  Hey, look! Obama’s little daughter has a [...]

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[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVxGyb9XOCc]
Now you understand why I had to lecture the children before we went into the polling place about how outburst, last-minute attempts at campaigning or comments such as “MOM, WHAT ARE YOU? CRAZY?” or “HEY, YOU FORGOT TO VOTE FOR…” would NOT be tolerated.

*Music by Rob Russell and the Sore Losers

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Mr. Smartypants and Ms. Diva were sitting on the couch earlier this morning watching the Disney Channel – oblivious to the fact that today we make some type of history.  Therefore, I felt the need to announce it:
“Today is The Day.  We’re going to elect a new president.”
Diva jumped up and down, using the couch [...]

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The people in Persia were sad because they had no cookies.
While many efforts had been made to address the needs of the poor Persian cookieless people, the evil Republicans of The Government kept shooting down proposals intended to help… until one day, President Barack Obama pursuaded congress to form a cookie corporation “clothed with the [...]

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A conversation between the kids this afternoon regarding my newfound need to conserve energy:
Ms. Diva said: “She’s acting like Louie the Lightbulb Bug `cept not as cute or nice.”
Mr. Smartypants said: “Worse! She’s like Algore on crack.”
Ms. Diva said: “What’s crack?”
Mr. Smartypants said: “It’s where your butt cheeks go together.”
Ms. Diva said: “Oh. [...]

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Smartypants says: “Uncle J said Obama was historical.”
I say: “Yes. He’s the first black nominee for President. That’s never happened before.”
Smartypants says: “So his nomicanation is historical.”
I say: “Yes.”
Smartypants says: “Well, I didn’t think he was historical because you have to be old to be historical like the buildings in town.  And [...]

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After playing outdoors yesterday, the boy and his sister quietly slipped inside and headed straight to the playroom.  Their heads were bent together in secret discussion.  These discussions are usually followed by the sound of shattering glass, a minor explosion, a fist fight or some other noise which indicates destruction.  So, with the mommy trouble [...]

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Stacey Campfield recently introduced a piece of legislation to prohibit discussion of homosexuality in Tennessee elementary and middle schools. The bill landed in the sub-committee of a committee of some other committee, you know – the one which meets in a dark secret room in the basement of some state building, where these bills [...]

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