DeMarCaTionVille

The affair of Mike Faulk, candidate for 4th District State Senate, is official news now. Can’t say I’m suprised. I’d heard last week the AP was poking around the story, which locals have been sitting on for quite some time. Of course, they haven’t been sitting quietly – but at least their dignified sense of Southern discretion required them to keep it at a whisper.

This is not because anyone wished to protect Faulk or felt sympathy for him. This is simply how we operate. It’s a given that if one among us falters, stumbles, or strays, we’ll find out and react in one of three ways: (1) we’ll talk about you behind your back until we get tired and move on (2) we’ll send an elder to counsel you or (3) in extreme cases, we’ll dispatch the Baptist pastor to get you all straightened up.

But either way, we do tend to keep our grown-folk business at the back fence rather than putting it out on the street where the children can get a`hold of it. In fact, many consider the inking of this sordid tale distasteful, uncivilized and needlessly hurtful because there are young children involved.

See, despite our tendency to act as though we own the moral high road, we do understand life is messy, unexpected, has jagged edges, people screw-up, make bad decisions and chances are we’ll all be caught at least once with our ass in a sling, hand in the cookie jar, skirt-tail in our pantyhose, husband in the flophouse with his mistress… or mister, our kid in the jail or we might get lucky – and just die without our good underwear on. That’s life. In life, shit happens.

So, you clean it up, apologize for the smell and keep moving on. And we’re fine with that.

HOWEVER, based upon the statement Faulk’s campaign released yesterday, he has no intention of cleaning his mess or admitting he helped make it.

You know, I’d heard several times through the Republican grapevine that, when asked about the relationship by other Republicans, Faulk not only denied the affair but allegedly tried to paint Kelli Walker as an unwanted aggressor (updated to clarify) WHICH IS NOT TRUE.

I didn’t believe the rumor at the time: now, I’m not so sure.

From his statement yesterday:

“Kelli is going through some very serious personal issues at this time. I have deep regret for whatever part her association with me and my campaign may have played in those problems. I wish nothing but the best for her. She is a special person to me.”
…

“This campaign will go forward. The people of the 4th Senate District want us to address important issues like their jobs, gas prices, family budgets and so forth rather than personal problems.”

He acknowledges the woman’s problems, offers some sympathy and implies if you are truly an intelligent, well-informed decent voter, you won’t even care because … OH MY GOD, LOOK OVER THERE, layoffs and high gas prices!

Oh no, this soft-pedaled lack of a confession ain’t gonna fly with voters. Here’s why:

Kelli Walker owned her share of this and is shouldering the fallout: folks expected Mike Faulk to do the right thing and take his part. He didn’t. And this creates two big problems for the campaign: (1) It makes him seem like a callous ass, and (2) it raises the question: If Mike Faulk won’t stand accountable for his actions and support the people who are special to him: what can you reasonably expect him to do for you?

So, in light of that, how do you think this story end?

Personally: I predict folks will talk about the school teacher behind her back for a minute and perhaps give her funny looks. School functions w/ the parents might be a little awkward – but she’s tough and she has tenure. So, she’ll be okay. And by the time Christmas break is over, we’ll have moved on to the next town scandal.

As for Faulk, well, his next love interest can just stick a fork in his ass – because I’d say he’s done.

As for Ron Ramsey, before this is all over (and I don’t think it is) he may have to answer some of those McCain/VP type questions, such as “Did you bother to check this guy out before we bet our money on him?” Add to this mess, Ronsalind Kurita’s election victory has just been declared invalid, leaving the Speaker possibly down two minions, which could get interesting.

As for the Party, they will probably blame the Media, Society, Democrats, Terrorists, Phil Bredesen’s Administration, Obama, or finally the dimwitted constituents with their wonky priorities (of course, they’ll phrase it a bit nicer so as not to alienate us dummies.)

And – as for the rest of us, who’ve been somewhat displeased with the manipulative games, mean-spirited attacks and high levels of hypocrisy within the party of late – we’ll just call this whole thing “Just Deserts,” “Poetic Justice” “Karma” or say “The Chickens Have Come Home to Roost” …. you know, unless the balance in the Senate gets so thoroughly shaken that Mike Williams somehow ends up with Ron’s lil’ gavel – in which case we’d be so busy laughing we wouldn’t call it much at all.

Tags: accountability, affair, Family Values, Kelli Walker, Mike Faulk, Mike Williams, Republicans, Tn State Senate