Over the past few days, aggressive toxin-spewing spiders, a strange nocturnal critter and a non-native man-eating fish have all been discovered in this area.
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water… Bill Grubb at the Rogersville Review reports that Randy Wright of Hawkins County caught an unusual aquatic specimen out by the Burem Bridge.
Bobby Wilson, assistant chief of fisheries for the TWRA thinks Randy’s toothy trophy could be a piranha or its less famous cousin the pacu. The entire report is here. (This has happened in TN waters before.)
Over in Greene County, Mac McMurray, a resident of the Del Rio area, took a photo of this odd
oposscoonish critter, which had been wandering around outside his home with a group of normal-looking raccoons.
The Greeneville Sun showed the photo to Pete Wyatt, wildlife diversity coordinator for the TWRA. Wyatt told Sun reporters the animal appeared to be a piebald raccoon. The rest of the story is here.
And I don’t know about raccoons, but in livestock, a large amount of piebaldism usually means an animal will be excessively nervous. Plus, the raccoon probably has a neurosis from hanging out with all the normal raccoons, who probably make fun of him/her… let’s also assume any neurotic disorder could be exacerbated if the animal is a young female traveling in a coon clique. And since a calm female raccoon can chew you up before you know what happened, I’d hate to imagine what a nervous one might do. Tip for the McMurray’s: keep your distance.
Finally, TriCities.com reports that an area man is recovering from a spider bite and doctors believe the spider that struck him while he was asleep may have been a brown recluse. A possibly related post, which has not been automatically generated by Wordpress, so it really is possibly related: poor Newscoma was recently bitten by a black widow spider and the ordeal did not sound pleasant at all.
So, what’s going on here? Is this the result of Globalism? Radioactive landfills? The TVA? A really bad terrorist plot by evil foreigners to destroy the US with killer tomatoes, scary spiders, weird critters and non-native aquatic wildlife? If so, what’s next? More killer fish? Biting apples?
Coincidence or Conspiracy? You decide… And if this is a conspiracy – just for kicks, can we blame it on the Canadians? Why should they always be above suspicion? Isn’t that suspicious? Think about it.
And I will post prices on Chinese-made bite-proof bubble-wrap air-tight Hazmat suits as soon as I track those down. Oh, and duct tape. We’ll need plenty duct tape to keep with us at all times. David Paulison said so. I don’t know why.
We may need to seal our northern borders or something.
In the meantime, stay safe.
Sounds like someone needs to open a one-of-a-kind East TN Roadside Attraction!