Comments on: Sydney Black: Victim of Maternal Filicide http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/ There’s a thin line between normal and insane. I think I’m standing on it… which would explain the big blob of crazy on my shoe. Sun, 14 Mar 2010 20:15:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: CounselorLa http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-18908 CounselorLa Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:28:54 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-18908 I knew Ivory. She was a bright woman who had experienced many hurts in her short life, and was working on her master's degree in Counseling, to help other women not suffer the terrible experiences she went through personally. She wanted to support women going through abusive and domestic violence in relationships. She reached out to me, said she was working to rebuild her life, start over again with fresh positive-minded people who were looking forward to a bright future and who were solid in their faith. She even invited me to attend her church. What happened to Ivory to cause those events must have been unbelievably painful and to us, unfathomable. In retrospect I wish I would have extended a loving hand in friendship and professional support. But, on the surface, she was attractively kept, spoke of her life and daughter with love and sparkle in her eyes, and truly seemed ready to help those in need. The news of this tragedy shook our Counseling program to the core. We were a small class, and all had been in classes and worked with Ivory. It has taken me two years to process what has happened, and feel ready to express my loss. As is so often reported "she seemed like a very nice girl." She was well spoken, lovely, excelled in class, and most importantly possessed the drive to extend her personal experiences to help others not suffer the same. Ivory, I don't know what roads lead you to the final path, and I am truly sorry from the depths of my heart that I, and others in our program weren't able to provide you with that sound, safe, loving atmosphere you so longer for. I hope that you and your daughter are in a peaceful place now, and free from the crushing pain you must have been in. You deserved better from all of us, sought out people to start healthy friendship and support networks with; and we let you down. If somehow you're able to receive this message, please know your friendship touched my life. Through this sad happening, I will be more vigilant with my own clients- asking better questions about suicidal ideation, and following up to be sure that they receive the support and help they're needing. From your passing, you've taught the counselors from our program to be aware that sometimes unexpected tragedies occur. I'm certain though, that the most difficult part of this is the empty holes you've left in our hearts. Please be at peace, and may you find your daughter in heaven as you repent and open you heart to the love and guidance of the lord I knew Ivory. She was a bright woman who had experienced many hurts in her short life, and was working on her master’s degree in Counseling, to help other women not suffer the terrible experiences she went through personally. She wanted to support women going through abusive and domestic violence in relationships. She reached out to me, said she was working to rebuild her life, start over again with fresh positive-minded people who were looking forward to a bright future and who were solid in their faith. She even invited me to attend her church. What happened to Ivory to cause those events must have been unbelievably painful and to us, unfathomable. In retrospect I wish I would have extended a loving hand in friendship and professional support. But, on the surface, she was attractively kept, spoke of her life and daughter with love and sparkle in her eyes, and truly seemed ready to help those in need. The news of this tragedy shook our Counseling program to the core. We were a small class, and all had been in classes and worked with Ivory. It has taken me two years to process what has happened, and feel ready to express my loss. As is so often reported “she seemed like a very nice girl.” She was well spoken, lovely, excelled in class, and most importantly possessed the drive to extend her personal experiences to help others not suffer the same.
Ivory, I don’t know what roads lead you to the final path, and I am truly sorry from the depths of my heart that I, and others in our program weren’t able to provide you with that sound, safe, loving atmosphere you so longer for. I hope that you and your daughter are in a peaceful place now, and free from the crushing pain you must have been in. You deserved better from all of us, sought out people to start healthy friendship and support networks with; and we let you down. If somehow you’re able to receive this message, please know your friendship touched my life. Through this sad happening, I will be more vigilant with my own clients- asking better questions about suicidal ideation, and following up to be sure that they receive the support and help they’re needing. From your passing, you’ve taught the counselors from our program to be aware that sometimes unexpected tragedies occur. I’m certain though, that the most difficult part of this is the empty holes you’ve left in our hearts. Please be at peace, and may you find your daughter in heaven as you repent and open you heart to the love and guidance of the lord

]]> By: Alicia http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-616 Alicia Tue, 03 Feb 2009 19:53:37 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-616 Hi! Auntie Missy, First I want to say I am very sorry that I implied anyone had ignored Ivory's condition. I had so many thoughts going on in my mind the other night after I stumbled onto this site. I feel very sad that this happened and I was venting my anger toward people who don't understand mental illness and the only things I have heard about Crystal (Ivory) came from her first husband's side of the family.......like you I don't want to discuss certain things on this public website. I read where Tara said Ivory had been diagnosed with munchausen syndrome and I have not heard of any of this from Jimmy's side of the family. There is way more we all don't know from several sides of each family. I hope time will ease your pain and I wish I could comfort you and your family in some way. We all have tragedy's in life that turn our whole world upside down so remember you are not alone. If I can do anything for your family or you...... just to talk sometime or have someone listen can be a great help. I might send you an email soon. Alicia Hi! Auntie Missy,

First I want to say I am very sorry that I implied anyone had ignored Ivory’s condition. I had so many thoughts going on in my mind the other night after I stumbled onto this site. I feel very sad that this happened and I was venting my anger toward people who don’t understand mental illness and the only things I have heard about Crystal (Ivory) came from her first husband’s side of the family…….like you I don’t want to discuss certain things on this public website. I read where Tara said Ivory had been diagnosed with munchausen syndrome and I have not heard of any of this from Jimmy’s side of the family. There is way more we all don’t know from several sides of each family. I hope time will ease your pain and I wish I could comfort you and your family in some way. We all have tragedy’s in life that turn our whole world upside down so remember you are not alone. If I can do anything for your family or you…… just to talk sometime or have someone listen can be a great help. I might send you an email soon. Alicia

]]> By: Auntie Missy http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-615 Auntie Missy Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:07:14 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-615 Alicia, I am Sydney's Aunt. My brother (Sydney's father) and I had the opportunity to meet James and Lia at Sydney's funeral. We had talked on the phone several times prior to this. James is a wonderful person and his support during this tragedy meant the world to me and my family. Please know that we made every effort to contact Ivory and there is way more to this story than I care to share on a public website. My family is absolutely torn apart and I can assure you that we did not ignore the situation. Please feel free to contact me - mcuster3@verizon.net Alicia,
I am Sydney’s Aunt. My brother (Sydney’s father) and I had the opportunity to meet James and Lia at Sydney’s funeral. We had talked on the phone several times prior to this. James is a wonderful person and his support during this tragedy meant the world to me and my family. Please know that we made every effort to contact Ivory and there is way more to this story than I care to share on a public website. My family is absolutely torn apart and I can assure you that we did not ignore the situation. Please feel free to contact me – mcuster3@verizon.net

]]> By: Alicia http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-614 Alicia Sun, 01 Feb 2009 07:01:18 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-614 I just want to say one more thing, it is awful that even now in 2008/2009 people still call people crazy that are mentally ill!............ ignore it and walk a way because that is easier.......... I just want to say one more thing, it is awful that even now in 2008/2009 people still call people crazy that are mentally ill!………… ignore it and walk a way because that is easier……….

]]> By: Alicia http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-613 Alicia Sun, 01 Feb 2009 06:54:45 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-613 Oh my............I did not expect to find these writing's about Crystal and Sydney but I am glad I have found this. For those of you who may want to know... Sydney has a half-sister. Crystal was married for the first time to my brother-in-law, James Patterson (Jimmy). I never got to know Crystal but I heard of plenty of bad things about her,etc.... how crazy she was and that she had multiple personalities, etc, etc. The reason I am doing some searching is because tonight I was told Sydney's half sister (Lia) had found Crystal on a web-site and it had upset her. I do not know what site, etc. All of this is horrible, horrible for Crystal and Sydney both! I did not even know Crystal but I heard no one in her immediate family had talked to her in a couple or few weeks before her death. That is so sad to me. I have one sister I call or she calls me almost daily! If family and friends knew of Crystal's illness, shame on you if you did not encourage Crystal to get help or if you did not call to see how she was, etc. It is very late and I must get to bed. I will try to contact some of you maybe or check this site very soon. AH Oh my…………I did not expect to find these writing’s about Crystal and Sydney but I am glad I have found this. For those of you who may want to know… Sydney has a half-sister. Crystal was married for the first time to my brother-in-law, James Patterson (Jimmy). I never got to know Crystal but I heard of plenty of bad things about her,etc…. how crazy she was and that she had multiple personalities, etc, etc. The reason I am doing some searching is because tonight I was told Sydney’s half sister (Lia) had found Crystal on a web-site and it had upset her. I do not know what site, etc. All of this is horrible, horrible for Crystal and Sydney both! I did not even know Crystal but I heard no one in her immediate family had talked to her in a couple or few weeks before her death. That is so sad to me. I have one sister I call or she calls me almost daily! If family and friends knew of Crystal’s illness, shame on you if you did not encourage Crystal to get help or if you did not call to see how she was, etc.

It is very late and I must get to bed. I will try to contact some of you maybe or check this site very soon.
AH

]]> By: TJ http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-608 TJ Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:22:57 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-608 Aunt Rena, I had the pleasure of meeting with Aunt Missy not long ago and I too feel that there are many unanswered questions, I loved Ivory dearly and do not believe in my heart that she was capable of such an act, I will do WHATEVER I can to help out with this and if it's the last thing I do I will see that her memory is not tarnished by those that did not know her.............my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family............ Aunt Rena, I had the pleasure of meeting with Aunt Missy not long ago and I too feel that there are many unanswered questions, I loved Ivory dearly and do not believe in my heart that she was capable of such an act, I will do WHATEVER I can to help out with this and if it’s the last thing I do I will see that her memory is not tarnished by those that did not know her………….my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family…………

]]> By: Aunt Rena http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-610 Aunt Rena Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:12:34 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-610 There have been many comments and concerns expressed on behalf of this little girl and her mother, but I have not heard any comments by anyone who may have had a differing opinion. I, for one, do not believe that this was a suicide. I am also interested in knowing who authorized Ivory's body to be sent to science. Did she have this in her will or on her driver's license? Did her husband, Mr. Clark, make this decision? For those of us who are related to either Sydney or Ivory, we should stay connected and focus on addressing some of these unclarified issues. I can assure everyone that my family truly loved Sydney beyond imagination, and the holiday season is taking quite a toll on them. Sydney had a play room at her grandma and grandpa's home where she loved to play music. Her grandpa was teaching her to play guitar and her dad was teaching her to play drums. She loved music so much that I truly believe she was going to be a musician! Last time I got to spend time with Sydney, we were at her great grandmother's house and she and I went out to pick some blackberries and mulberries. Sydney liked the mullberries the most and ate quite a few of them! She was precious and there are so many special memories. My family was unable to gather for Thanksgiving and they are not having Christmas this year because they are unable to celebrate this close to little Sydney's death. My thoughts are with the family and friends of Ivory as well. I know it will be tough for them to get through the holidays due to their loss. The right thing to do is to forgive and not point blame. None of us understood well enough what we really needed to know, and there is still much to be learned. There have been many comments and concerns expressed on behalf of this little girl and her mother, but I have not heard any comments by anyone who may have had a differing opinion. I, for one, do not believe that this was a suicide. I am also interested in knowing who authorized Ivory’s body to be sent to science. Did she have this in her will or on her driver’s license? Did her husband, Mr. Clark, make this decision?

For those of us who are related to either Sydney or Ivory, we should stay connected and focus on addressing some of these unclarified issues.

I can assure everyone that my family truly loved Sydney beyond imagination, and the holiday season is taking quite a toll on them. Sydney had a play room at her grandma and grandpa’s home where she loved to play music. Her grandpa was teaching her to play guitar and her dad was teaching her to play drums. She loved music so much that I truly believe she was going to be a musician! Last time I got to spend time with Sydney, we were at her great grandmother’s house and she and I went out to pick some blackberries and mulberries. Sydney liked the mullberries the most and ate quite a few of them! She was precious and there are so many special memories. My family was unable to gather for Thanksgiving and they are not having Christmas this year because they are unable to celebrate this close to little Sydney’s death.

My thoughts are with the family and friends of Ivory as well.
I know it will be tough for them to get through the holidays due to their loss. The right thing to do is to forgive and not point blame. None of us understood well enough what we really needed to know, and there is still much to be learned.

]]> By: Auntie Missy http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-611 Auntie Missy Fri, 28 Nov 2008 04:14:15 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-611 Hi Tara - I am Syndey's Aunt (Tim Black's Sister). While I was very angry with Crystal (Ivory) in the beginning, I can assure you that I do not think that she is responsible for this tragedy now. I will do everything that I can to help you in providing a proper burial for Crystal (Ivory) as she certainly deserves one. Please send me an e-mail mcuster3@verizon.net. Hi Tara – I am Syndey’s Aunt (Tim Black’s Sister). While I was very angry with Crystal (Ivory) in the beginning, I can assure you that I do not think that she is responsible for this tragedy now. I will do everything that I can to help you in providing a proper burial for Crystal (Ivory) as she certainly deserves one. Please send me an e-mail mcuster3@verizon.net.

]]> By: Tara http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-609 Tara Sun, 02 Nov 2008 08:27:07 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-609 My name is Tara and I was Ivory's sister. Her name was Crystal. She legally changed it after she had been diagnosed with munchausen syndrome and had her first child removed from her custody. Crystal and I share a father. Unfortunately Crystal spent most of her time with the other side of her family. As for Auntie Tammy and the rest of that half of the family- I hope that you can live with your choice to not bury Crystal. I too was very angry when I found out (via the news)what happened. Her father (which was her closest living relative) was left completely out of the information and the choice to send her body to the body farm. Crystal has been mentally unstable for a very long time. She kept most of us in the dark about where she was living. She moved a lot. She changed her name. She was married so many times! Her older sister Sabrina knew where she was but, no one ever thought she would go this far. Syd should have never been with her. Crystal and I were not very close the last few years. I had a hard time dealing with her mental illness. I saw her shortly before this. We talked briefly but, she seemed to be in a hurry. I wish that things could be different. I hope that my dad and I can obtain the ashes from the body farm to give Crystal a proper burial. It's time for some closure-not hate. My name is Tara and I was Ivory’s sister. Her name was Crystal. She legally changed it after she had been diagnosed with munchausen syndrome and had her first child removed from her custody. Crystal and I share a father. Unfortunately Crystal spent most of her time with the other side of her family. As for Auntie Tammy and the rest of that half of the family- I hope that you can live with your choice to not bury Crystal. I too was very angry when I found out (via the news)what happened. Her father (which was her closest living relative) was left completely out of the information and the choice to send her body to the body farm. Crystal has been mentally unstable for a very long time. She kept most of us in the dark about where she was living. She moved a lot. She changed her name. She was married so many times! Her older sister Sabrina knew where she was but, no one ever thought she would go this far. Syd should have never been with her. Crystal and I were not very close the last few years. I had a hard time dealing with her mental illness. I saw her shortly before this. We talked briefly but, she seemed to be in a hurry. I wish that things could be different. I hope that my dad and I can obtain the ashes from the body farm to give Crystal a proper burial. It’s time for some closure-not hate.

]]> By: Mary http://demarcationville.com/2008/05/14/sydney-black-victim-of-maternal-filicide/comment-page-1/#comment-612 Mary Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:59:33 +0000 http://demarcationville.wordpress.com/?p=836#comment-612 I know this is very late. I just found out. I am heartbroken that this has happened. I knew the family, not for a long time, but everyone was very nice to me. I remember Sydney's long curly hair and how beautiful she was. I know her family is hurting and will for a long time. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and Tim. I know this is very late. I just found out. I am heartbroken that this has happened. I knew the family, not for a long time, but everyone was very nice to me. I remember Sydney’s long curly hair and how beautiful she was. I know her family is hurting and will for a long time. My thoughts and prayers are with the family and Tim.

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