DeMarCaTionVille

Yesterday was one of those days.

The kids’ schedules overlapped. Ms. Diva had ballet. Mr. Smartypants had a baseball game. Mr. Dad claimed to be allergic to tutus. So, he attended the game. I transported Diva.

Midway through the frou-frou princess fairy dance, where Ms. Diva executed a lovely arabesque-fall-on-your-nose type maneuver (which was impressive as I’d never seen anyone fall down quite so gracefully or frequently,) Mr. Smartypants called blubbering.

It was not completely unexpected. Mr. Smartypants was placed on a new team this year. His coach resigned before the season started. Players have dropped from the roster like politicians from the GOP. The team has forfeited as many games as they’ve played and lost. So, each trip to the field is followed by fits of frustration and pleas for ice cream to help heal the deep emotional wounds. (Mr. Smartypants doesn’t like to lose.)

“What’s up, Smartypants?” I asked and braced for the usual, “We lost. It’s not fair! My whole team stinks!”

Mr. Smartypants surprised me by saying: “Mom, I was horrible. I stinked. I didn’t even hit the ball once because of some stupid old girls. They were big girls, Mom, and they were waving at me! They got me all messed up! ”

Apparently, while Mr. Smartypants was up-at-bat, three cute teenage girls winked and waved from the stands. Mr. Dad says Smartypants’ face turned bright red. He looked at his shoes, kicked at the dirt, and then he struck out.

“It was bad,” said Mr. Dad, “The boy tripped over his own bat on the way back to the dugout.”

Mr. Dad suspects this was an elaborate plot by the opponent to fluster Mr. Smartypants, who is among the few boys on the team who can make contact with the ball. Mr. Dad alleges the girls were planted at the fence to break the batters’ concentration. (Mr. Dad does not like to lose either.)

I tried not to laugh as I assured Mr. Smartypants he’d do better next time. Then, I informed him the girls were watching just because he was so doggone cute. He puffed out his wee chest, pranced around and then asked for ice cream.

Mr. Dad also tells me that Church Hill attorney Mike Faulk was on the field, chatting up the people and distributing flyers for the free “Get a Hit, Stay Fit” K-Mets game on June 29th. Naturally, the buzz on the bleachers was all about Faulk’s possible 2008 run for state senate.

In this neck of the woods, it seems to be a foregone conclusion that the incumbent Mike Williams is out – whether by choice or defeat. You know, when you represent a district of chain-smoking yellow-dog Democrats and party-line Republicans, it is not advisable to declare yourself an Independent and favor tax hikes on tobacco. Williams did. Most feel there’s little he can do to redeem himself in the eyes of the voters. I don’t think he’ll try. I have serious doubts that Williams intends to seek re-election and think he’s making maneuvers to gain an “appointed” office.

Nevertheless, the seat is up for grabs. And should Faulk choose to run, he’s got my vote.

As I told Mr. Dad, I’ve been impressed with Mike Faulk since he served as a Hawkins County Commissioner. At the time, I covered county government for the Rogersville Review. (I drew the short straw) As I recall, Faulk was astute, competent, and approachable. Unlike the current governing body, he comported himself well. He was good for the county, even if he did make it a pain-in-the-ass to find a sensational pull-quote.

Back then, you just didn’t encounter a lot of grandstanding or embarrassing stunts from Commissioners. They did not make headline news for fisticuffs and finger pointing. There were no verbal outbursts or threats passed through the media. Business was conducted professionally. Citizens were treated respectfully and represented well.

I’ve often wondered how Hawkins County went from this brand of solid, reliable leadership to the current barrel of illiterate monkeys, who conduct Hawkins county business as though they live to be the butt of Jay Leno’s jokes. Truly, one often expects them to spit and scratch after a resolution is passed or engage in a “wrastlin” match on the commission floor to settle budgetary disputes.

Of course, I shared this observation with Mr. Dad, who was greatly disinterested. He, like most Hawkins County voters, seems oblivious to politics. Nevertheless, he states that he would vote for Faulk too.

You know, I’ve heard countless others pledge their support for “Mike Whats-his-Name, You Know, that Baseball Guy.” (Most have forgotten he served on the County Commission) This puzzles me. If a voter is unaware of a candidate’s background and they are not motivated by the belief that a candidate could adequately represent them in government, upon what do they base their decisions?

So, I asked Mr. Dad, “I know why I would vote for Mike Faulk, but why would you?”
“I dunno. He seems like a nice guy.”

Well, there you go. If that’s not some informed decision making, I don’t know what is. You know, if during his “possible” campaign, Faulk addresses these Little League conspiracies and vows to put an end to the unethical practices employed by various teams to protect rankings in the Pee-Wee and Lil’ Squirt Divisions, he would be a shoo-in.

Tags: Mike Faulk, TN Politics